People (the second reflective post)

I miss the people at camp.

I worked with a wide variety of people and met even more. One of my favorite parts of the summer was being able to spend time with the campers and get to know them – be a part of their Barakel experience. Love God, live with the campers. They weren't my campers the way that they belonged to the counselors, but I loved them anyway.

The summer staff bonded quickly. We bonded firmly. We shared.

I was assigned a roommate for the summer and she astonished me with how amazing she was. Also amazing was the number of times in our lives we had been at the same place/event and still not met each other. I'm coming away from the summer with a myriad of new friends and a couple of friendships that have grown even stronger. Maintaining and growing these while living in a different state is the next challenge.

It's weird for it to be ten o'clock at night and not be able to share cereal and conversation.

I hate goodbyes. 

 “Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting.”  - J.M. Barrie

I live in a cute little apartment in Milwaukee. Two days ago, I didn't. It's small and old and beige, but it already feels home-like. 

It's a weird blog right now, I know. I'm trying to reflect on my summer while also living in the present and looking ahead to the future. Today is one of those days where I can't imagine existence without time - linear time. I just can't. I'm feeling in sequence. 

Sometimes I find myself stopping and focusing on the feeling: not focused on the emotion, but on the action. My being, caught in verb form. 

Sometimes I am trapped betwixt and between emotions: a house bisected, out of proportion. I feel the joy and the sorrow. Unbalanced. I am a being distinct from my feelings but they are wholly a part of me. 

I keep waiting to cry.

"I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil." - Tolkien