You can't always find the balance. Today I've graded several presentations, worked on a book review, and done the dishes (except for those dishes left by my roommate - a trait against which I am peacefully protesting by ignoring them). Then I spent half an hour reading The Chronicle of Higher Education - for fun. Yep, that's somehow become a fun thing for me. 

I didn't go to a friend's unofficial birthday celebration last night. I feel a little guilty, but I had some really good reasons beyond being busy. The problem is that I also have counters for each of those reasons. And then counter-counters. Analysis is ongoing.

I leave for my San Diego conference on Thursday. I'm absolutely dreading it, even though I'm sure everything will be fine. Negotiating all of the different travel arrangements is the most intimidating. I haven't had time to stress about the actual presentation yet. This is the first time I've thought that I truly needed a car. I'm going to be stuck in Chicago for a night. Or I can walk half an hour home through downtown Milwaukee at 2am. Neither option is ideal.

GRE

This morning was the GRE.

The doors were locked and the proctor was unable to open them. DPS needed to be sent for. It was all a bit of a muddle. The organization displayed did not impress the students who had paid hundreds of dollars to be tested.

Shockingly, the test-taking was not my favorite. But there were good moments. I woke up and read an encouraging email from a friend who knew I was taking the test. Walking out of the test, I received a text from a different friend checking in to see how it went. If it were not for the stress and struggle of the GRE process, those moments would not have occurred.

I'm starting to become a fan of contrast and learning to separate the contrasts from the variations.

While I was writing this post, my mother called me.

Words contrasting with silence - each replete with its own meaning.

One day until tomorrow.

Two days until the GRE.

Three weeks until San Diego.

Four days until this paper draft is due.

Five months until the MA exam

Six years until I'm done with school (potentially)

Seven weeks until the end of the semester.

Eight weeks until most grad applications are due.

For an English major, my life is very full of numbers.

Telling a story to friends tonight I said, "Last night I made a Dutch baby . . . "*

Be careful around English scholars. They will leap on a slip like that and spend the rest of the night asking who the father is and if you're going to name the baby Hans and if so, are you naming it after the Die Hard villain Hans Gruber - played by Alan Rickman? (The answer to the last question is 'yes'.)

It's good to have a reminder of the fun that language can be. Laughing with friends, even at your expense, smooths over the cracks of a stressful existence.

*Note: a Dutch Baby is a sweet popover descended from a German pfannkuchen.**

**It's like a pancake with stuff in.

Market Bounty

My apartment smells like fresh basil. I also have four 'cherry peppers'. I couldn't resist them because they were small and adorable. The taste is yet to be determined.

A week and a half to finish the rough draft of this paper and to finish studying for the GRE. Maybe all of the fresh vegetables will boost my brain power.

I attended a section of a lecture today about incorporating grammar and style instruction into the composition classroom. I want to try some of the teaching suggestions. Is that how you know you're a real teacher? When talking about teaching is exciting?

Everyone is a bit on edge around midterms and finals.

I am no exception. I'm currently battling a strong desire to tell my students to stop asking me stupid questions. I already told them that no one cares about their opinions, and I try not to squash all of their dreams at once.

Only I'm a special snowflake.

Less than two weeks until the lit. GRE.
Less than two weeks until I need to have a seminar paper drafted.
Haven't done anything significant with applications yet.
That conference is coming fast.

I feel constantly behind.

Practice GRE with Brick tomorrow. I can't have gotten dumber at grad school, right?