Students and Studies

Next week my students turn in their first paper. We're all very nervous. I'm hoping that I've taught them enough; they're hoping that I'm not a tough grader; I know they're doomed to disappointment on that score.

To complicate things, I've just met two of my students for the first time. One of them spent the first few weeks of the semester being ill. He sounds confident and willing to work hard in order to catch up to the rest of the class. The more major issue is the student who has attended two classes out of the seven and has not turned in any of the assignments. He's a senior so this is probably his last semester. Unless he fails my class. Or unless I drop him from the class for excessive absences. Judging from his behavior, I'm feeling more pressure about that than he is.

The MA exam in which I must demonstrate a masterly knowledge of the entirety of British Literature is now only a year away. It's an intimidating thought. As part of my studying it has been recommended, by a past writer and grader of the exam, that I memorize a few poems. Apparently the ability to quote poetry in my answers will be impressive and show dedication. The poem this week is John Donne's Death Be Not Proud. 

Death be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull for, thou art not soe,
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures be,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow
And soonest our best men with thee do goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleep as well,
And better than thy stroake; why swell'st thou then?
One short sleepe past, we wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.
 

Newberry Day #3

I had a thought earlier today. I thought, "This would make a wonderful, witty anecdote for my blog." Then I promptly forgot said anecdote. Sorry, y'all. Somehow we'll soldier on.

Skipping the first session today felt good. None of the paper topics interested me, and having a leisurely morning was a good choice, especially since I have a lot of work to make up tomorrow. The session I did attend was excellent. Two papers on Shakespeare and one on Restoration comedy, so a little more in my wheelhouse than papers on Vesalius or patents.

Then I hopped slightly further downtown and met a group of Moody/Barakel people. They brought me a delightful birthday cupcake and brightened my day. I miss them. Hopefully we'll see one another again in April when I head back to Chicago again.

I escaped Chicago in late afternoon and found my way back to Milwaukee where I spent an evening with friends, laughing and playing games. Solid ending to a solid conference and a great beginning for a new year of living. Thanks to all for your birthday greetings!

Newberry Day #2

I spent the day listening to other people talk. It was great. There were some really interesting papers - pirates, corpses, the pox, assasins, etc.

Tonight I ventured out into Chicago and went to a concert of Robbie Burns poetry (and music). Apparently today is Robbie Burns day. It was good, but very soprano and harpsichordy. Then I floundered around downtown trying to find my pizza that I had ordered. Delicious pizza, it turns out.

Then I got back to the hotel and for the first time in my life was confronted with valet parking. I was not expecting it. Apparently it's what the hotel does when they have so many cars they start double-parking them. I asked for an explanation of the system and he explained it like I was four - potentially a good thing since I at least understood what he was saying. However, because I was not expecting valet parking, I didn't have any cash so couldn't tip him. Now I'm flooded with guilt.

Tomorrow I'm meeting up with some Barakel people, so am naturally very excited. Then I head back to Milwaukee where, since I got no work done tonight, I have a lot of things to accomplish.

The current presenter is reading his paper off of his phone. It looks like it's a good thing that he can zoom in easily.

Newberry Conference Day #1

The Newberry Library is gorgeous. It has high ceilings, intimidating chandeliers, and strict security. Trust me, all of that adds up to beauty.

My presentation was successful, I think. For me it is always difficult to tell because I blank slightly when presenting and don't really tune back in until the Q and A. But the Q and A was really good. I answered a lot of questions and people seemed really interested and engaged. As my mother already pointed out, perhaps they had a lot of questions because I hadn't been clear, but I prefer to believe that they just found it interesting.

I have now walked the streets of Chicago alone after dark. It was successful. I made it back to the hotel safely with Thai food in hand. My hotel is pretty great. They let me check in super early, gave me free parking, gave me coupons for free breakfasts, and have been uniformly friendly and enthusiastic. My status as a VIP might be the reason for all of this. Seriously, when I checked in, my reservation said VIP on it. It must have something to do with having booked using the Newberry rate.

The first three people I met at the conference were from England. The couple sweetly gushed about how much they are in love with America. I gushed back about my love for England. On a more disappointing note, the man from the University of Aberdeen grew up in Ohio so did not have a Scottish accent. False advertising, if you ask me.

Small talk is not something at which I excel. Sadly, that is a huge part of conferences. You're supposed to network and make connections that you can leverage throughout your future in academia. I'm doing my best to seem charming and intelligent. We'll see if I can keep it up.

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The problem with long weekends is that one still never gets everything done. At least I don't. What generally happens is that I add things to my list, knowing that I have that extra time. Then I fail to finish everything and head into yet another week of feeling behind.

I've been thinking a lot about friendship recently. Those of you who speak to me outside the realms of blogging are already aware that I've had difficulty finding friends with whom I can develop deep friendships. Grad students are an egotistical, godless bunch. I like plenty of people and have a good group with whom I spend a lot of time. But it isn't the same as having close, Christian friendships. After camp especially, this is a letdown. It feels weird still talking about adjusting from Barakel. It has been months. I should be over it by now, right? Except that I spent a chunk of time this weekend, when I was supposed to be accomplishing things, trying to figure out the feasibility of a few weeks in the woods this summer. I have more thinking to do . . .

The day after tomorrow I will be presenting at my first graduate conference. I hate my paper, but I'll push through somehow. I keep thinking optimistic thoughts about how, since I'm presenting in the first time slot, there will not be many people there yet.

I just reread this post and it sounds more down that I meant it to. I'm not unhappy. I promise.

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The end of week the first. I'm glad the first week is over. It's not been a bad week. I've really enjoyed it. But I'm tired now. 8am classes and I will continue to disagree throughout most of the semester, I'm fairly certain.

My 8am class is my favorite class (shh). They open their mouths, speak, and intelligent words (most of the time) issue forth. Watching them think through the issues and procedures brings joy to my teacherly heart. My 10am class needs to wake up. They like to stare at me and not speak. I will force them to talk. It's a goal.

Teaching two sections this semester provides a new set of challenges. Timing will become even more of a key issue. I say this because it took thirty minutes in the second class to accomplish more than was completed during the fifty minutes of the first class.

Another challenge will be teaching at 8am. Normally, I prefer to not even be awake at 8am. It's a time which, to me, should be allowed to pass by peacefully and without comment. It will be strange to be awake, not just physically but also intellectually. Hopefully, seasonal staff will have trained me well for this.

an end of a vacation

Heading back to WI this week. I'm thoroughly unexcited about it. In fact, today I can't muster up any desire to return. I know I'll be fine once I'm there and in the swing of things but voluntarily diving back into that stress-filled world feels insane.

I plan to make the drive on Wednesday, spend Thursday finishing my unit calendar, and then smile my way through the mandatory staff meeting Friday morning. No news yet on how genuine that smile will be.

The new year begins. With it comes a swirl of responsibilities I temporarily had shoved aside during the actual holidays. Now I'm immersed in building course documents, lesson plans, and class policies. I also need to squeeze in writing a conference paper.

Heading back to Litchfield tomorrow - the family claims to be over the flu, so it should be safe to return.