The current presenter is reading his paper off of his phone. It looks like it's a good thing that he can zoom in easily.

Newberry Conference Day #1

The Newberry Library is gorgeous. It has high ceilings, intimidating chandeliers, and strict security. Trust me, all of that adds up to beauty.

My presentation was successful, I think. For me it is always difficult to tell because I blank slightly when presenting and don't really tune back in until the Q and A. But the Q and A was really good. I answered a lot of questions and people seemed really interested and engaged. As my mother already pointed out, perhaps they had a lot of questions because I hadn't been clear, but I prefer to believe that they just found it interesting.

I have now walked the streets of Chicago alone after dark. It was successful. I made it back to the hotel safely with Thai food in hand. My hotel is pretty great. They let me check in super early, gave me free parking, gave me coupons for free breakfasts, and have been uniformly friendly and enthusiastic. My status as a VIP might be the reason for all of this. Seriously, when I checked in, my reservation said VIP on it. It must have something to do with having booked using the Newberry rate.

The first three people I met at the conference were from England. The couple sweetly gushed about how much they are in love with America. I gushed back about my love for England. On a more disappointing note, the man from the University of Aberdeen grew up in Ohio so did not have a Scottish accent. False advertising, if you ask me.

Small talk is not something at which I excel. Sadly, that is a huge part of conferences. You're supposed to network and make connections that you can leverage throughout your future in academia. I'm doing my best to seem charming and intelligent. We'll see if I can keep it up.

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The problem with long weekends is that one still never gets everything done. At least I don't. What generally happens is that I add things to my list, knowing that I have that extra time. Then I fail to finish everything and head into yet another week of feeling behind.

I've been thinking a lot about friendship recently. Those of you who speak to me outside the realms of blogging are already aware that I've had difficulty finding friends with whom I can develop deep friendships. Grad students are an egotistical, godless bunch. I like plenty of people and have a good group with whom I spend a lot of time. But it isn't the same as having close, Christian friendships. After camp especially, this is a letdown. It feels weird still talking about adjusting from Barakel. It has been months. I should be over it by now, right? Except that I spent a chunk of time this weekend, when I was supposed to be accomplishing things, trying to figure out the feasibility of a few weeks in the woods this summer. I have more thinking to do . . .

The day after tomorrow I will be presenting at my first graduate conference. I hate my paper, but I'll push through somehow. I keep thinking optimistic thoughts about how, since I'm presenting in the first time slot, there will not be many people there yet.

I just reread this post and it sounds more down that I meant it to. I'm not unhappy. I promise.

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The end of week the first. I'm glad the first week is over. It's not been a bad week. I've really enjoyed it. But I'm tired now. 8am classes and I will continue to disagree throughout most of the semester, I'm fairly certain.

My 8am class is my favorite class (shh). They open their mouths, speak, and intelligent words (most of the time) issue forth. Watching them think through the issues and procedures brings joy to my teacherly heart. My 10am class needs to wake up. They like to stare at me and not speak. I will force them to talk. It's a goal.

Teaching two sections this semester provides a new set of challenges. Timing will become even more of a key issue. I say this because it took thirty minutes in the second class to accomplish more than was completed during the fifty minutes of the first class.

Another challenge will be teaching at 8am. Normally, I prefer to not even be awake at 8am. It's a time which, to me, should be allowed to pass by peacefully and without comment. It will be strange to be awake, not just physically but also intellectually. Hopefully, seasonal staff will have trained me well for this.

an end of a vacation

Heading back to WI this week. I'm thoroughly unexcited about it. In fact, today I can't muster up any desire to return. I know I'll be fine once I'm there and in the swing of things but voluntarily diving back into that stress-filled world feels insane.

I plan to make the drive on Wednesday, spend Thursday finishing my unit calendar, and then smile my way through the mandatory staff meeting Friday morning. No news yet on how genuine that smile will be.

The new year begins. With it comes a swirl of responsibilities I temporarily had shoved aside during the actual holidays. Now I'm immersed in building course documents, lesson plans, and class policies. I also need to squeeze in writing a conference paper.

Heading back to Litchfield tomorrow - the family claims to be over the flu, so it should be safe to return.